One of the two revision stories: 3 Alternate Openings for my "Love I never got" story

 

Opening 1: Towards the end when Adam dies and his friends and co-workers are at his funeral.

Boy, what a day this has been for me. Just when I do something great for an employee from Cargill and win the girl, you think, “What could possibly go wrong?” Well I’ll tell you what could go wrong, you let your guard down and then you end up getting hit by a Ferrari. And then the next thing you know, you wind up dead in the hospital.

 

To be honest, this is not the first way I imagined dying. My first thought of dying was going on a fishing trip with my Dad at the Grand Canyon, and then we’d go right over a waterfall. But, I guess you don’t always get to choose the way you die.

Since I am now dead, I might as well tell you how I came to this position in the first place. That way, you could get an understanding of my life, the girl of my dreams, and how I lost it all in a split second.

 

My story starts in the beginning. Nope, not that far into the beginning. No, not at my High school graduation. A little bit further than that please. Annnnnnnd, Stop. Here is where my story begins.

Opening 2: A group of cops and a detective barge into Adam’s house when he is having dinner with Allison.

Well, this was certainly a night to cherish. I finally got a date with the my-coworker, Allison Grey. We saw a play and at the same time had dinner at the Chanhassen dinner theater. And now we’re at my apartment in downtown Hopkins, having some tea. 

 

Honestly, I could enjoy this forever, and not even an Isis Terrorist could mess this up.

“Aw Adam. This has been a wonderful evening. Thank you for making this night possible.” Says Allison expressing her gratitude. I then say to her. “Hey, think nothing of it Allison. I’m just glad, they didn’t charge us 100 bucks for that whole meal we ate at the theater.” I then tell her a story about the one time when me and my brother, Luke got so drunk at a bar, we forgot to pay the bill. So we spent all night looking for our wallets around the bar, but found no sign of them.

 

And just when I thought we were screwed; Luke felt my wallet in my back pocket. Can you believe it? It was right in my back pocket the whole time.

 

But as I continue the story, Allison starts to feel uneasy. So, I ask her “Hey Allison. What’s eating you?” “Oh, it’s just I’m concerned about Thomas. I mean if he found out I was dating another guy, he’d kill me.” I then grab her left hand, trying to ease her. “Hey, hey, it’s all right. I wouldn’t worry about that rotten fraud.” “No Adam, you don’t understand, he’s, he’s a dangerous person. He could break your bones in a matter of seconds.”

 Though Allison tried to relax, she found it tough to cool her jets. The relationship she had with this Thomas Storm person was pretty forceful, and he did not want anything ruining it.

 

Knowing that I can’t keep her in the dark permanently, I told Allison about Thomas’s absence. But before I could tell her the whole thing, a knock came at my door. Then suddenly, a barge comes through. Allison and I are surrounded by several cops and a detective. “Are you Adam Star.” He asked. I answered yeah, “Well, we have some questions for you? What do you know about Thomas Storm’s death?” At that point, even Allison felt confused. “Death?” she cried in shock, while turning to face me. “You didn’t mention anything about his death? You said he left town.” I then answer, “I did.” I then assure the detective that I know nothing about Thomas’ death.

But the detective was still not convinced, “Oh really! You don’t even know about this knife? We found hidden under a rock at Minnehaha falls.” “I’ve never seen that knife before?” “No.” the detective asked. “Then why does it have both your fingerprints and Thomas Storm’s blood on it.”

 

 At that point, I could feel the sweat going down me as I looked back and forth at Alison and the cops. There didn’t seem like there was any way out of it. I had to come clean.

 

Four days later:

 

And that is how I ended up in this prison. God some life it turned out for me. I had it all. The girl, the car, the home, the online friends. Basically my life was good until that detective messed it up.

   

 

Opening 3: Adam’s proposal to Allison.

January 6^th, 2019. Boy was that a memorable year for me. Not only was I getting promoted to being a board member of the Cargill company. Not only was I given the chance to work in my own office. But I was going to propose to my Gale, Allison Center.

 

 

This was a big step for me. Proposing to a woman was a lot more challenging than trying to ask her out on a date. Mostly because you don’t know how to start it or even if she will say yes. And if she doesn’t say yes, you start to feel broken like, you have no purpose anymore.

 

Whatever the case is, you have to trust your feelings and go with the flow. And if she doesn’t say yes, maybe it’s because she needs a little bit more time.

 

After all, not everything happens right away. Some things just come when you least expect it too. It was that way for me when I first met Allison. I remember the first time I asked her out. It was about five years ago on a sunny day like this one.